00:00:06.92 >> Whenever people come together in small groups, conflict is inevitable. 00:00:11.10 Many people shy away from conflict, but conflict can actually help a group, depending on how it is expressed and how it is managed. 00:00:17.89 In the following meeting of a group of students who are trying to decide how to allocate money for their school's speaker series, you will observe a number of conflicts. 00:00:26.02 See which conflicts are helpful, and which styles of managing conflict are most beneficial to the group. 00:00:36.36 >> Many, what time is it already? 00:00:37.91 >> It's 8:00. 00:00:38.68 >> He is 10 minutes late. 00:00:39.98 If he would have gotten here on time, we would have been done by now. 00:00:42.20 I'm tired of this. 00:00:43.01 >> I'm tired of waiting on the jerk, okay? 00:00:44.66 >> I don't have time for this. 00:00:45.64 >> I'm kind of tired of it, too. 00:00:46.72 >> I know, man. 00:00:46.96 >> Look, let's just go ahead and get started, try to get the ball rolling. 00:00:49.61 >> We have to. 00:00:50.06 >> Okay. 00:00:50.31 Fine. 00:00:50.63 >> Absolutely. 00:00:51.21 >> Tony, did you find out how much money we've got? 00:00:53.13 >> Yeah, we got about $15,000, but that has to cover everything. 00:00:56.14 You know, that's really not that bad since most speakers charge that for one speech. 00:00:59.87 >> I know it. 00:01:00.30 >> Yeah, they do. 00:01:00.61 >> You know, we can save ourselves a lot of time by just dividing up the money. 00:01:04.98 You know, that's $3,000 apiece, and then we can decide individually what speakers to get. 00:01:10.50 >> No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 00:01:10.95 >> Mm. 00:01:11.10 >> You know, that means less meetings and less time. 00:01:14.86 >> See, that's the point. 00:01:16.26 You know, we're supposed to come together as a committee with the best representative plan for the whole student body. 00:01:24.62 And, personally, I just don't think you want to meet. 00:01:29.26 >> Actually, I think that's a good idea, Chris, because that's gonna save a lot of time and a lot of arguing. 00:01:33.78 >> Oh, yeah. 00:01:34.53 >> Yeah, but, guys, that's not what we're supposed to do. 00:01:36.74 We're supposed to agree together. 00:01:38.37 >> See, that's what I'm saying. 00:01:39.06 >> Yeah. 00:01:39.21 What if we all pick the same type of speaker? 00:01:40.88 It's gonna be a really boring program. 00:01:42.36 >> That's true. 00:01:43.37 >> Hi, guys. 00:01:43.61 >> We need to work together on that. 00:01:44.76 >> Well, well, well. 00:01:45.30 >> Sorry I'm late. 00:01:46.15 >> It's about time, man. 00:01:47.24 >> Oh, God. 00:01:47.77 >> Kevin, didn't you get your engraved invitation? 00:01:49.84 >> Yeah, really. 00:01:50.44 >> I said I was sorry. 00:01:51.76 >> Real sorry. 00:01:52.19 >> I got a phone call as I was leaving. 00:01:53.78 I couldn't make it away. 00:01:55.14 >> Phone call. 00:01:55.38 Pbht! 00:01:55.65 >> Right. 00:01:55.95 Was President Bush happy with the advice you gave him? 00:01:58.37 [Laughter] >> Laurie, ease up. 00:02:00.10 >> He's late 10 minutes every time. 00:02:02.17 >> Kevin, we're talking about how to select a speaker. 00:02:05.08 We're going toward a group discussion instead of individual presentation? 00:02:09.93 >> Kevin, did you bring a copy of the last three years' budgets so we can see what they did on past committees? 00:02:16.13 >> No. 00:02:16.75 I haven't had any chance to get them. 00:02:18.36 >> Of course not. 00:02:18.70 >> I've had papers to do, and I've had tests all week. 00:02:21.18 >> Imagine that. 00:02:21.73 >> Is there anybody at home? 00:02:22.45 >> You know, that is just great. 00:02:23.52 Why didn't you tell somebody that last week so someone would have gotten it and done it, and we would have had it here? 00:02:29.45 >> Yeah. 00:02:29.67 >> We could have had it. 00:02:30.29 >> Hey, look, stop it. 00:02:31.67 Bickering is not gonna help. 00:02:33.71 >> All right. 00:02:34.19 Okay. 00:02:34.70 Look, at least we can, you know, come to some sort of decision about the kinds of speakers to bring in. 00:02:41.21 You know, then we can compare our list to what they did last year. 00:02:44.51 What do you think? 00:02:45.85 >> I have a great idea. 00:02:46.57 Let's bring in Bernard Shaw. 00:02:47.65 I think he'd be a really good speaker. 00:02:48.64 >> Shaw is good. 00:02:48.90 Shaw is good. 00:02:49.24 >> He's got a great voice. 00:02:50.33 -Wait a minute. 00:02:51.27 I've got one question. 00:02:52.35 >> It's a hot topic. 00:02:53.11 >> Who is he? 00:02:54.11 >> Who is Shaw? 00:02:55.44 >> If you didn't watch "What's Happening! 00:02:57.09 !" 00:02:57.09 every afternoon, you would know he's the anchor for CNN, okay? 00:03:00.04 He's worked on the Operation Desert Storm, the whole war thing. 00:03:03.25 In my class, we've been talking about whether reporters create the news or if they, you know, just report it. 00:03:08.57 >> Agenda setting? 00:03:08.90 Yeah. 00:03:09.03 >> Yeah, agenda setting. 00:03:09.82 >> That's good. 00:03:10.44 >> Mm-hmm. 00:03:10.66 >> I think he'd be a really good speaker to have. 00:03:12.17 >> He would be great. 00:03:13.59 >> It's very powerful. 00:03:14.30 I think Shaw's good. 00:03:16.51 >> Well, I was kind of thinking of David Letterman. 00:03:19.64 See, everybody watches "Late Night with David Letterman" in the dorms, so I think he'd have a better appeal. 00:03:26.00 >> Well, that's great. 00:03:27.89 I mean, that's a good idea, but -- >> Uh, I don't know. 00:03:29.20 I want Shaw. 00:03:29.58 >> The only thing I have against it, you know, I don't like Paul Shaffer. 00:03:32.67 If he brings Shaffer, you know, I don't want any part of it. 00:03:35.06 >> He wouldn't do that. 00:03:35.60 >> I want Shaw. 00:03:36.15 >> I think Shaw. 00:03:36.50 >> I want Letterman. 00:03:37.50 >> He'd be better. 00:03:37.99 Shaw's better. 00:03:38.40 >> I think Letterman. 00:03:39.37 >> Good idea. 00:03:39.68 >> More educational. 00:03:40.51 He's got a lot to say. 00:03:41.70 >> Wait a second, guys. 00:03:42.91 What criteria are we using here? 00:03:44.78 I mean, Deirdre, what's your whole reason behind getting Bernard Shaw to come in? 00:03:48.63 >> Well, I thought we're supposed to set an educational example. 00:03:51.20 I mean, bring in somebody who knows something, who's here with current issues. 00:03:55.14 I think he'd be the best bet. 00:03:56.26 >> I think so, too. 00:03:56.81 >> Well -- >> [Groans] Oh, God. 00:03:58.35 >> You know, I see your point. 00:03:59.71 You want to bring some educational value into the whole thing, but -- >> Yeah. 00:04:03.19 >> Tony, what's your reasoning behind Letterman? 00:04:05.66 >> Look, education is all right. 00:04:09.19 But I'd rather spend my free time being entertained, because I want entertainment. 00:04:14.61 I mean, I don't want to go through another educational thing. 00:04:17.75 We do that all day in class. 00:04:19.56 And I think most of the students would feel like that. 00:04:22.14 >> I agree 100%. 00:04:23.81 If I'm going to hear a speaker, I want to hear somebody that I'm going to enjoy. 00:04:27.76 And I bet that if you went around and polled the students, you'd find that they feel the same way, too. 00:04:33.34 If I'm gonna put my energy into something, I want to enjoy it. 00:04:36.19 >> We can't get Bozo the Clown, man. 00:04:37.31 >> You know, I could have predicted that from you. 00:04:38.94 By all means, let's not learn. 00:04:40.66 Let's party. 00:04:41.40 >> [Chuckles] >> What is your problem? 00:04:43.75 You've been riding my case all day long. 00:04:46.22 >> You've done nothing to help this group. 00:04:47.26 >> Hey, look, this is not helping. 00:04:49.70 Hey, I'd rather avoid this fight. 00:04:51.35 And look, I can go along with the educational idea. 00:04:53.84 It's fine with me. 00:04:54.93 >> Hey, Tony, don't give up so soon. 00:04:56.83 I've got plenty of arguments left. 00:04:58.97 >> Look, Kevin, our money comes from student fees. 00:05:01.53 We have an obligation to bring in a speaker who's gonna teach us something. 00:05:04.64 >> Yeah, but when I'm off duty, I want to have some fun. 00:05:07.19 >> Yeah, you're always off duty, man. 00:05:08.59 >> Always. 00:05:09.09 >> Look, let's just cut it. 00:05:10.64 Look, there is no way we're gonna agree. 00:05:12.91 So, hey, let's see how much Shaw will charge us. 00:05:15.52 >> Good. 00:05:15.69 >> Oh, no. 00:05:15.89 Come on, Tony. 00:05:16.42 >> I think Shaw would be good. 00:05:17.37 >> You know, something we haven't looked at, maybe we could try to bring in two different speakers. 00:05:22.00 You know, less expensive. 00:05:23.54 One that's educational, and one that's entertaining. 00:05:26.93 >> Now, that's a good idea. 00:05:27.81 Why don't we take one person who's both educational and entertaining? 00:05:33.28 Maybe somebody like Oprah Winfrey. 00:05:35.81 >> Ugh. 00:05:36.15 Um, Letterman and Shaw are both gonna cost a lot of money. 00:05:39.02 If we pick even one of them, we'll have to spend all our money around publicity around that one person. 00:05:44.16 >> I absolutely will not support a speaker that is strictly fun and games. 00:05:49.40 And if that's the case, I will quit the committee. 00:05:52.00 >> Oh, come on, man. 00:05:52.59 Let's not -- >> I'm not doing this. 00:05:53.76 >> Hey, look. 00:05:54.27 That is a little extreme. 00:05:55.75 Hey, let's just go along with Chris' idea about the two main speakers. 00:06:00.03 >> Maybe we can get the best of both worlds. 00:06:01.59 I mean, how about someone who satisfied both criteria? 00:06:04.06 Both entertaining and educational? 00:06:06.45 >> I think we can. 00:06:07.11 >> There's an original idea. 00:06:08.31 >> I mean, I think we can do both, you know, feasibly. 00:06:11.25 >> Yeah. 00:06:11.40 Let's do it. 00:06:12.21 We ready to vote on it? 00:06:13.09 What do you think? 00:06:13.56 >> No way! 00:06:14.38 I think that we should come up with a consensus as a committee as to just exactly what kind of a speaker we're gonna want. 00:06:19.75 >> Wait a minute, you guys. 00:06:21.45 Why don't we ask the students what they would like to hear? 00:06:23.84 You know, ask their opinion of it? 00:06:25.34 >> Now that's the best idea I've heard yet. 00:06:28.00 You know, because the students can even suggest what speakers they want to hear, and I think that's the most important thing. 00:06:34.53 >> Yeah. 00:06:34.81 >> I mean, and then when we get the results back, we can pick the main speaker, and then set up the other two speakers where we can fit them in. 00:06:43.16 >> Laurie, you remember when you said that you couldn't live with just an "entertainment" speaker only? 00:06:47.55 Suppose the students vote like that? 00:06:49.09 What are you gonna do then? 00:06:50.10 >> Well, I guess I'd have to live with it. 00:06:52.29 But if we have two additional speakers, I think one of them should be educational. 00:06:57.63 >> Okay, look. 00:06:58.77 We're all agreed. 00:07:00.18 We'll make up a list of the top three or four speakers, with a place on there for the students to write in their suggestions. 00:07:06.07 You know, that way, when we get the results back, we can use this information to go ahead and plan our speaker series. 00:07:11.66 Okay? 00:07:12.30 >> Sounds good. 00:07:13.12 >> That's fine. 00:07:13.78 >> Good deal. 00:07:14.16 >> Um, we still have one more problem, though. 00:07:16.46 Kevin, we need a commitment from you. 00:07:19.66 Man, you missed the two last meetings out of four, you were late for the other two that you did show up with, and you didn't do what you said you'd do for this meeting. 00:07:27.85 I mean, we all feel pretty much let down by you. 00:07:29.79 What's up? 00:07:30.62 >> [Sighs] Guys, I'm sorry. 00:07:34.19 I've been feeling guilty about this myself. 00:07:36.28 But when I took on this position on the committee, I didn't realize how busy I was gonna be. 00:07:40.36 And with work and school being my main priorities, I'm not gonna be able to give the kind of commitment that you guys deserve. 00:07:46.36 So I guess I'd better resign from the committee. 00:07:50.45 >> Well, I hate to say it, but it may be the best thing for the group, too. 00:07:54.73 You know, 'cause we need to stick together on this stuff. 00:07:57.32 >> You know, I'm sorry for riding you, but I think you're right. 00:08:00.18 I think, as the group goes, I think you should. 00:08:04.08 >> Okay. 00:08:04.79 Look, um, let's try to meet same time, same place next week. 00:08:08.70 Can everybody do that? 00:08:09.83 >> Yeah. 00:08:09.93 >> Yes. 00:08:10.29 >> All right, great. 00:08:10.83 We'll just discuss then what happened last year, and go from there. 00:08:15.31 >> Okay, great. 00:08:15.95 >> All right. 00:08:17.40 Let's do it. 00:08:20.48 >> Conflict is a normal and desirable occurrence in a group. 00:08:23.74 If members don't disagree, they aren't doing their jobs. 00:08:27.03 Groups generally come up with more ideas, test information and reasoning better, and usually think of more things than an individual can. 00:08:34.52 However, this almost guarantees that conflict will occur. 00:08:38.56 In this scene, a number of conflicts appeared, as did a number of approaches to managing conflict. 00:08:44.17 First, you can tell that the other members are angry with Kevin because he has let them down. 00:08:48.91 This type of inequity in the amount of effort and dependability is a common cause of group conflicts, and not just in student groups. 00:08:56.53 Notice that the members ignore Kevin, so that his potentially useful suggestion about Oprah Winfrey as an entertaining and informative speaker didn't even receive a response. 00:09:06.37 Kevin's lack of commitment has undercut his credibility. 00:09:10.56 Conflict over inequity can often lead to affective conflict when members dislike each other. 00:09:16.02 Laurie has become disgusted with Kevin, and snipes at him often. 00:09:19.75 Tony, in turn, seems uncomfortable with Laurie. 00:09:23.04 Personal dislikes can interfere with the effective functioning of the group. 00:09:27.38 Members of a group don't have to be best friends, they just have to respect each other enough to work together productively. 00:09:35.03 Third, this group engaged in some disagreement over procedures. 00:09:39.10 Should each member have $3,000 to spend on a speaker of his or her choice as a way of avoiding conflict, or should they discuss until they arrive at agreement? 00:09:48.11 The group members decided to ask the entire student body for suggestions, and to organize a vote to help them decide on speakers. 00:09:55.82 Fourth, substantive conflict deals directly with the group's task. 00:09:59.97 This can often provide a source of creative solutions for group problems. 00:10:04.23 For example, the discussion over the merits of Bernard Shaw and David Letterman stimulated the students to think about the purpose of the Speaker Committee. 00:10:12.75 The idea to poll the student body and decide later resulted partly from this disagreement. 00:10:19.36 Affective conflict and conflict over inequity are generally harmful to a group, but substantive and procedural conflict can be quite beneficial depending on how they are handled. 00:10:29.48 Several different styles of managing conflict occurred here. 00:10:33.19 For example, Tony is uncomfortable with conflict, and would rather avoid it, or accommodate to someone else's idea than argue too much. 00:10:41.50 Laurie, on the other hand, is pretty competitive. 00:10:44.11 She says she plans to leave the committee if the speaker doesn't have some educational value. 00:10:49.65 Chris is the compromiser. 00:10:51.37 His suggestion is to abandon the idea of having one major speaker and bring in two lesser-known speakers -- one who is educational and one who is entertaining. 00:11:01.12 Both Kevin and Deirdre support a collaborative solution, one that meets the needs of both subgroups. 00:11:07.29 They each suggest looking for a speaker who is both educational and entertaining. 00:11:12.22 However, Kevin's suggestion is ignored, and Deirdre's, later, is supported. 00:11:18.56 Did you notice how the group began to use the Principled Negotiation procedure? 00:11:23.25 Deirdre was determined to have Bernard Shaw speak, and Tony was equally adamant about having David Letterman. 00:11:29.26 Their positions were not reconcilable. 00:11:32.17 Chris asks each of them why they hold these positions. 00:11:36.00 Deirdre reveals that having an educational speaker is an important interest of hers, while Tony explains that his interest is entertainment. 00:11:44.15 This revelation paves the way for an eventual suggestion that the group look for someone who is both educational and entertaining. 00:11:52.42 This is a way that both sets of interests can be met, even though the original positions may be irreconcilable. 00:12:00.02 Finally, this group did something that most groups avoid, although they shouldn't. 00:12:04.59 Deirdre confronts Kevin politely but firmly, with the effect of his irresponsible behavior on the group. 00:12:11.19 She states how she feels -- that is, let down -- and asks Kevin directly how much time he feels he can give to the group. 00:12:18.80 Kevin, although he's uncomfortable, responds honestly, and offers to withdraw from the committee. 00:12:24.85 All members finally are behaving in a direct, responsible way for the good of the group. 00:12:30.29 Most groups we know don't confront non-participating members. 00:12:34.03 Instead, they spend a lot of time complaining about such people behind their backs. 00:12:38.65 That usually doesn't solve the problem. 00:12:41.54 Direct confrontation may not solve the problem, either, but it has a better chance than complaining. 00:12:47.70 Don't be afraid of conflict in a group. 00:12:49.99 Learn to manage it wisely, and you will find that it works to a group's benefit. 00:12:54.46 The following are several principles we think are appropriate for handling conflict in a group. 00:13:00.84 Express your disagreements, don't keep them under wraps. 00:13:05.63 Express your disagreements with sensitivity toward others. 00:13:10.97 React to disagreements with a spirit of inquiry, not defensiveness. 00:13:17.04 Use procedures, such as the Principle of Negotiation procedure, that encourage members to explain their important needs or interests that are behind the positions they hold. 00:13:29.18 Use mediation and arbitration procedures if the group seems truly deadlocked.